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Man pronounced dead at water park

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Arizona Sen. John McCain has been diagnosed with brain cancer, his hospital said in a statement Wednesday. The former Navy officer underwent a procedure to remove a blood clot last…
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Kushner, Trump Jr. and Manafort to testify next week

Jared Kushner will testify privately before the Senate Intelligence Committee this Monday, it was reported Wednesday. The White House senior advisor will appear before Congress in a closed-door session as…
 
 
 
 
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Jane Austen fans rip painfully ironic 10-pound note

Jane Austen fans have their petticoats in a twist over a new British 10-pound note that features a picture of the beloved author and her “Pride and Prejudice” heroine Elizabeth…
 
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A convicted drug dealer was busted this week for stalking and menacing nearly a dozen judges in a single Florida county, according to reports. Todd Watson was sentenced in 2011…
 
 
 
 
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Lion kills little girl who went outside to pee

A 10-year-old girl was mauled to death by a lion while peeing behind a hut in Zimbabwe, according to reports. The youngster’s aunt watched on in horror as the predator…
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Fight attendant busted with bullets in his carry-on

An American Airlines flight attendant landed in hot water in Japan after 30 bullets were found in his carry-on bag, officials said. The unnamed crew member told cops at Tokyo’s…
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Police dog dies after being left in hot patrol truck

A police dog died of heat exhaustion earlier this month after he was forgotten inside an unattended patrol truck as temperatures hovered near 100 degrees in Utah, an internal police…
 
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Australia demands answers in shooting of bride-to-be

Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull demanded answers Wednesday for the “inexplicable” police shooting of Sydney native Justine Damond. Speaking on Channel Nine’s “Today Show,” Turnbull noted that something “clearly went…
 
 
Trump Jr. hates everything

Trump Jr. hates everything

Donald Trump Jr., who is ensnarled in scandal after meeting a Russian lawyer with dirt on Hillary Clinton in June 2016, is “miserable” and counting the days until his father’s…
 
 
Trump to lunch with GOP senators and talk health care plan

Trump to lunch with GOP senators and talk health care plan

President Trump touted his upcoming lunch meeting with Republican senators on Wednesday while praising the GOP-backed health care plan, tweeting that “it will get even better at lunchtime.” “The Republicans…
 
 
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Masturbating and a cookie could cost O.J. his parole

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Laptop ban on Saudi flights to US is lifted

Laptop ban on Saudi flights to US is lifted

KHOBAR — A ban on laptops and other large electronic devices from the cabins of direct flights to the United States from Saudi Arabia has been lifted, Saudi Arabian Airlines…
 
 
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Iran vows to ‘resist’ new US sanctions: state tv

DUBAI – President Hassan Rouhani said on Wednesday new U.S. economic sanctions imposed against Iran contravened the country’s nuclear accord with world powers and he vowed that Tehran would “resist”…
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Teen airlifted to hospital with cliff-diving injury

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O.J.’s memorabilia victim pleads for his release

O.J.’s memorabilia victim pleads for his release

LOVELOCK, NEV. – The victim in O.J. Simpson’s 2007 hotel heist of sports memorabilia pleaded for the disgraced football great’s release Thursday. “This is a good man, he made a…
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Hunter kills Cecil’s son

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Betting lines heavily favor O.J. getting released

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Golden Retriever puppy is born with green fur

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Members of Burundi robotics team missing after DC event

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A Grill that Fires Up on the First Try- What are You Waiting For? Shop for a New Grill Now

Kick it up a level with a high-performance GS4™ Grilling System. Shop the new Weber® Genesis® II or Weber® Genesis® II LX Now.
 
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O.J.’s parole board snapped a selfie before his hearing

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Abraham Lincoln letter mystery solved 150 years later

Forensic linguists say they have likely unraveled the mystery surrounding a famous Civil War-era letter, long believed to have been written by President Abraham Lincoln. Historians have argued for years…
 
 
 
 
 
 
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It’s the Olympics: that time of year when we sit back and watch our finest, most glistening athletes run, jump, and throw their hearts out trying to convince the world that we don’t deserve to be the international shorthand for “childhood obesity.” However, while you might think that the worst thing that can happen to an Olympic athlete is having to raise the Kardashian kids, it turns out that the job comes with so much depressing baggage that Foxcatcher seems like a slapstick buddy comedy by comparison. What sort of baggage? Well …

6

Training Costs Will Leave You (And Your Parents) Broke

Allen J. Schaben / GettyImages

You’d think that as compensation for defending their nation’s honor at the Olympic Games, athletes would be entitled to, say, their face on a mountain somewhere, or at least enough money to not make a McJob seem like an attractive career prospect. Well, sorry to disappoint, but almost every athlete you’re about to watch on TV had to beg, borrow, and bankrupt everyone they love for their chance at stardom.

Harry How / GettyImagesUnless they’re one of the cool kids, of course.

Let’s take the situation at home. The U.S. government provides no financial support to its athletes (of the 200+ countries that attend the games, we’re one of three to not do so), which places the onus for athlete funding on the U.S. Olympics Committee. As a nonprofit with an estimated annual budget of $170 million, they can only afford to offer stipends and other benefits to a small number of athletes, most of whom will be competing in high-profile, recognizable sports. If you’re an athlete who picked a less-marquee sport such as racewalkingor dressage (basically horse dancing), then too bad. Don’t let the hurdles bang your ass on the way out.

Fox SportsIn a just world, this horse would be richer than Michael Jordan.

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And it’s not like they can rely on sponsorship deals or prize money, either. A recent surveyfound that only the top five athletes in events such as running, jumping, and discus throw were earning over $15K a year from their activities — a figure which includes everything from sponsorship deals to prize money to, yes, the aforementioned stipends. To get a gold medal in money, in other words, you have to be at the very top of your game in a sport that people give a shit about all the goddamn time, not just twice a decade.

Therefore, in order to afford their costs, the younger prospects have to earn money like all millennials do nowadays: through part-time jobs and panhandling on the internet.

RallyMeEvery canoe slalom fan in America gave $50.

Oh, and bankrupting their parents. For families willing to support their kid’s Olympics dream, it’s estimated that it comes with a six-figure price tag when you factor in expenditures like equipment, coaching, travel, and the inevitable counselling sessions after the credit card bill arrives. By the way, all of this is for the prospect of a payoff — there’s no guarantee that their offspring is going romp home with anything other than a venereal disease, never mind the trophies to pay back the national debt of Guam.

5

You Can Be Accused Of Doping Incredibly Easily

Lindsey Parnaby / AFP / GettyImages

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The second-biggest problem with any Olympics (after the athletes accidentally boning themselves to death) is doping. Seriously, alongside the major shitstorm currently raging over Russia’s government-sanctioned doping ring, there are so many incidents that the Wikipedia article listing everyone who got caught is twice as long as the one listing every Olympic medalist. Who would have guessed that incentivizing highly-competitive people with promises of lifelong fame would bring out their bad side?

Leon Neal / AFP / Getty ImagesPictured: the building where Russian anti-dopers go to be “reeducated”.

But even if you’re not intentionally trying to cheat, it’s still disturbingly easy to get “busted” after taking contaminated health supplements, diet medication … or dick pills. That was the case of sprinter LaShawn Merritt, who accidentally ingested steroids through some over-the-counter sexual enhancement pills that he’d bought from his local convenience store for $6. In a turn of events sitcom writers would call far-fetched, the only way Merritt could clear his name was by awkwardly wheeling out the female 7-11 clerk who sold him the pills. Hey, at least his mother and aunt stepped out of the courtroom before they interrogated him about his dong.

Biotab Nutraceuticals, Inc.This is why we only trust online pharmacies with batshit insane box art.

However, like many athletes who are able to prove their innocence in these situations, Merritt was still penalized. He was banned from competing for nearly two years. World-record-holding swimmer Jessica Hardy also proved that she only tested positive because of a (most likely useless) nutritional supplement her sponsors gave her, and was still suspended for one year.

So the solution is to simply not take any pills, right? (Or spend more than $6 on them.) Nope. Your body itself can betray you. If a female athlete’s body is found to produce too much testosterone, she might have to undergo corrective surgery before she’s allowed to compete in women’s sports again. Side effects, by the way, include loss of sexual function and goddamn sterility. At least we’ve got a good handle on how much testosterone is considered too much, right? Nope, we have no idea.

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Of course, all of this means squat if the lab charged with analyzing athletes’ samples isn’t up-to-scratch — something that we only barely avoided in Rio. If unchecked, this would have potentially allowed hundreds, if not thousands, of athletes to be accused of doping. In that case, they’d have to suspend everyone and get a bunch of dogs, bears, and a sentient buggy to compete — which actually happened once in the ’70s.

A dark time in world history.

4

The Media Will Screw You Over (If You’re A Woman)

NBC

More women are joining the Olympics all the time, and in the case of the U.S., bringing home most of the medals (58 versus the men’s 45 in London 2012). Despite this, there’s a world of difference between the media coverage that male and female events receive — proving that we still can’t seem to get the hang of gender equality even among women who could, if sufficiently provoked, remove John Q. Public’s spine like the goddamned Predator.

Lionel Chamoiseau / AFP / Getty ImagesThe average female rugby player could do it just by breathing hard.

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This is illustrated plainly in a 2012 study which found that not only do male athletes still get more televised face time, but also that the discrepancy is widening. We can’t blame this trend on “boring” sports, either, because women have traditionally done very well in the most popular events. So what the hell is going on, then? To answer that, we only have to look at the type of screen time they do get. The figure is 46.3 percent, but that innocent-looking number is mostly taken from media reports of overtly “feminine” events (that is, ones involving tight swimsuits). Here’s how the NBC Olympics website covers women’s volleyball …

NBC SportsWe’re assuming the site played “Oh Yeah” by Yello on a loop.

… and here’s how they cover men’s volleyball (or as most people on TV call it, “volleyball”).

NBC SportsNot a single taint close-up, if you can believe it.

Yeah. A whopping 97 percent of the coverage women do manage to get is geared around games “for girls” and “for girls’ boobs.” Most of the commentator chatter tends to focus on the athletes’ appearances and failings, rather than their super strength and mind-boggling endurance in sports that would make the rest of us cry like babies. According to a University of Delaware study, when a woman wins at the Olympics, the announcers will talk about how lucky she was — when a man does, they’ll “applaud [his] skill and commitment to the sport” (and lack of cooties).

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But this makes sense, when you think about it. Because male athletes get overwhelmingly more time in the spotlight, viewers and reporters have the time to comment on their actual prowess. When they do get to the women, there won’t be much time left to talk about stuff other than who’s a bitchy diva and who has the best booty on the field. If you’re still not sympathetic, look at it this way: Some of those dudes have fine booties too, and this is all dreadfully unfair to them.

The British MuseumThe Greeks were much more enlightened in this area.

 
3

You’re More Political Pawn Than Athlete

Jack Garofalo / GettyImages

So you’ve bankrupted your family, given yourself several chronic illnesses, and dodged any sort of chemicals for the last half decade, and now it’s finally time for you to step up and take your place in hist– oh, sorry, your country’s pulled out of this year’s games because of the current political situation. And believe us, there’s always a political situation.

As some have noted, there seems to be no prouder tradition associated with the Olympics than the good ol’ fashioned boycott. Hell, the first modern games in 1896 were nearly boycotted by France and Germany because they were still pissed at each other over the Franco-Prussian War. We wouldn’t even have the Olympic torch for decades, but boycotting was one tradition that couldn’t wait to get started.

Bob Thomas / GettyImagesThis guy got so angry at the Olympics in 1984 that he tried to fly away.

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It got so bad that at one point, The New York Times commented that the games had devolved “into more of a political competition than an athletic competition [and] no longer seem to justify the time and trouble.” It’s hard not to argue with that. It seems that those dang SJWs (Sports Justice Warriors) are always trying to boycott the games because they’ve gotten offended by silly shit like … apartheid and gay rights? Huh.

The problem is that in geopolitical terms, boycotting the games is a fairly useless bit of grandstanding that only succeeds in torpedoing the lives and dreams of athletes — like the ones whose careers were aborted when the U.S. pulled out of the 1980 Moscow games. It’s one thing when athletes boycott of their own will, as several have done with Rio 2016. When Jimmy Carter makes that decision for you, however, it means you’ve wasted your time, energy, and money, and now have to go back to four more years of no one knowing who you are.

New Chapter PressKinda like Jimmy Carter.

And finally, there’s the small fact that boycotting goes against everything that the founder of the modern Olympics, Pierre de Coubertin, envisaged them to be: an apolitical event where nations competed in good spirits and channeled out of the rivalries and aggression that might have otherwise gone into dropping bombs on each other. We don’t know if you’ve noticed, but … that’d be a good thing right now, you guys. That, or let’s all have a giant orgy.

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Betsy DeVos Defends School Choice After Hundreds Protest Her ALEC Speech — TIME

One day after hundreds of teachers, parents and students protested Betsy DeVos in Denver, the Education Secretary spoke Thursday to a friendly crowd in the city at the annual meeting of the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC). DeVos has long had ties to ALEC, a business-backed group that crafts conservative legislation at the state level…

via Betsy DeVos Defends School Choice After Hundreds Protest Her ALEC Speech — TIME

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Mexico vs. Honduras: Time, Channel

Honduras reached the Gold Cup semifinals largely thanks to a forfeit victory over Martinique in the group stage. They didn’t score a goal in their other two group matches, but will maintain a defensive approach against the defending Gold Cup champions. It’s been a busy summer for Mexico, who are letting the veterans rest after…

via Mexico vs. Honduras: Time, Channel

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Google Redesigns its Mobile Search — Wilmington, NC SEO, Website Design, and Digital Marketing Services

Google’s minimal search page has consistently been heralded as a minimalist masterpiece since it first appeared in 1996. It’s been argued by numerous designers—myself included—that it was the perception of Google as a ‘pure’ unadulterated search was more central to Google’s rise and eventual dominance, than the merits of its (in)famous algorithm. So it’s something […]

via Google Redesigns its Mobile Search — Wilmington, NC SEO, Website Design, and Digital Marketing Services

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LIVE STREAM: 2017 WSOP Main Event Final Table — Heavy.com

The 2017 World Series of Poker Main Event drew 7,221 player this year, making it the third-largest in tournament history. Two players, Ben Lamb and Antoine Saout, are making their return to the Main Event final table. Lamb took third-place in 2011 and won $4,021,138. Saout took third-place in 2009 and won $3,479,669. Here’s how…

via LIVE STREAM: 2017 WSOP Main Event Final Table — Heavy.com

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First Trailer For American Horror Story Season 7 Released — AMP 1037

Ever since we found out that the next season of ‘American Horror Story’ would have a political theme, fans have been clamoring for more information. Well, we finally got the first trailer and, in classic AHS fashion, it raised far more questions than answers. In the short 15 second teaser we did get the classic…

via First Trailer For American Horror Story Season 7 Released — AMP 1037

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